Being Assertive

Recently in group therapy I learned about being assertive. I never noticed how bad I was with speaking up for myself. I have noticed though that I am getting a lot better since having Toki. I used to get uncomfortable and get so nervous I wouldn’t say anything to the person distracting or petting her. I would always just let it happen and beat myself up after because I should not have let it happen.

Now when I am out with Toki I find it easier than it once was. I think I realized that I had to change my attitude to be more assertive so I could stop beating myself up and help Toki not get distracted. I think having Toki really made me become more assertive and it’s still strange to me. I still have some days where I don’t say anything but I have to remember I am working on myself everyday.

Just today I had two people in the hospital try to pet Toki and I stopped them both and explained she is working. I really wish people understood the “NO PETTING”/DISTRACTING” rule when seeing a Service Dog because it really makes a difference in Toki’s focus. Furthermore, it really upsets me when I am assertive and then people try to have me justify why they can not pet my dog. I really get upset because it really isn’t any of their business. I had a man reach out to pet her the other day and I said, “Please do not pet her she is a Service Dog.” His response was, “A Service dog for what?!” like he was all butt hurt or something. It really upset me because here I was being assertive and he just asked me to justify why I said no by asking personal questions (Some people…).

Sometimes I still find being assertive very hard but I feel that since having Toki I have become much better at it. I never thought I would be comfortable enough to tell people “no” or speak my mind. It still feels really good every time I stop someone from petting Toki and my fiancée still gives me a thumbs up or praises me for doing it.  Here’s to working on being more assertive with things other than Toki. I just have to keep making baby steps and one day I will be there!

waiting patiently for group to start.
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Moving In with Toki

This past weekend Toki, Cory and I packed up and moved back to St Catharines from Niagara Falls. It is only about a half hour away but it is nice to be back where I feel at home and with friends.

When I was moving Toki spent a lot of time with my Nana and loved every minute of it; as I am sure she was given a few treats here and there. I was worried about leaving her while I moved things back and forth to the new place. It is always hard when I have to leave my Service Dog behind anywhere. I have gotten so used to having her with me all the time that when she isn’t with me, I feel like I am missing a piece of myself. It did make me feel better though knowing she was with someone I knew and trusted. I would never put her in a situation that would stress her or put her in danger.  I have to remember that just as my health and well-being is important, so is hers.

Now that we have our belongings here, the task of putting everything away begins. The place we moved to is a lot bigger than what we are used to so it has been fun trying to figure out what to do with all the space we have. Toki seems to enjoy just laying on the couch and watching me as I put things away. She is such a lazy butt at times but she deserves it because of all her hard work. She also enjoys our large balcony in the shade and because we are on the second floor, I am not so worried bringing her out with me.

Since moving, we have been attending group therapy for myself and she seems to struggle with the sitting still for an hour and thirty minutes, which I can understand because I have a hard time too. We start every group session off with mindfulness and Toki started off not knowing what was going on and trying to get my attention (she makes sure I am focused on my surroundings) so she would lick me or put her paws on me. She now has learned that mindfulness is a good time in group and settles on the floor. I always tell the instructor that he did a great job because Toki is passed out. The other issue she is having is putting her cold nose on people when they are sitting close to me in group. I had a guy sit next to me and noticed that Toki was fussing and the guy was looking down at her. I looked down and saw Toki licking his leg like it was the tastiest treat. I was mortified that she was doing this so I corrected her and apologized to the man. Thankfully, he did not mind because he loves dogs, but this is something I have to work on with Toki- she loves to touch and lick people. I can not get upset because she has come a long way in her training and this is just a small bump in the road. I have to keep reminding myself that she is a living animal and just like myself she is going to have slip-ups. Other than the few issues I have had with her she has been doing great in group. Next week is our next session and I am excited to bring her with me because she makes it easier as I am less anxious around people.

I am hoping to be back on schedule and all moved/put away within the next week or so. I miss updating my blog and keeping up with projects. I look forward to the new adventures Toki and I will have here.

Here is a photo I snapped of Toki amongst the boxes in my living room. What a cutie!